Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Get on Board! We're Going to Crazytown!

Dear Eve,

I'm attracted to fixer-uppers--people that are a little or a lot broken that I think I can fix.  It's not just boyfriends but friends too.  I'm surrounded by half-crazy people and my life is full of drama.  I'm so busy putting out other people's fires I don't have much of a life.

I don't want to do this anymore.  Help!

Dear Rescuer,

Have you ever heard someone say that it's easier to clean someone else's house than clean your own?  Paying attention to someone else's business makes it easier for you to not deal with your own problems.  A lot of people that share your affliction come from families full of fixer-uppers, where often the kids had to take care of both parents and siblings, sometimes from a young age.  They were raised thinking that these were normal relationships, so it makes sense that someone would seek out this same dynamic when they get to be adults.  I'm betting that this applies to you to some degree.  In short, you grew up crazy, are a little crazy yourself and seek out the cra-cra because you love it like a recently-dead-celeb loved crack.

That said, you've asked for help because you want to stop this cycle.  Yay!  Go you!  The great thing is that you can do it and have a much more peaceful and happy life.  Getting there, however, is going to take a lot of work because you're going to have start renovations from the ground floor and go up.  I'm talking therapy here, babe.  Lots and lots of therapy because you're going to have to learn parent yourself and be that guiding voice that helps you figure out who's going to be good for you and who will hold you back and possibly get you sent to jail.  You're going to have to cut and run from a lot of people.  Hopefully you'll still  have a few friends and family members who will fit into your new, healthy life but, if not, don't settle.  Someone's that's a little bit crazy is still crazy.

Knowing that you're the problem and that you're not a victim is a blessing.  I can just imagine you: 9 1/2 feet tall, swinging a pole at all those people that are there to take you down.  Don't let them do it, woman.  Make sure you give them the dirty end of that stick, too, because you, well, you're done taking other people's shit.

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