Sunday, March 4, 2012

Bedroom Wars: Freaky Edition

Dear Eve,

I'd like to get a little freaky in the bedroom but my girl is a little uptight.  What can I do to get her to loosen up and try something new?

Dear Mr. Romance,

When a woman is "uptight," "repressed," or shy in the bedroom, it can almost always be cured by a partner that is responsive to her needs.   If you're humping under the assumption that if you get off, she does by proxy, there's no way you're in a position to ask for more. Understand that she is not the problem and doesn't need to "loosen up."  She's a woman, not a rusty screw.

If you want to have a real conversation about exploring new adventures in the bedroom, I would start by having sex with her exactly the way she wants to, especially if you're usually the captain of your love-making ship.  If she wants four hours of foreplay, followed by marathon cunnilingus, and ending in lovemaking to Sade, then do it.  Over and over again if necessary.  She needs to know that you want her to enjoy herself; that it's important to you that she gets off.  Don't open up the conversation again until she's getting what she wants and knows you are happy to give it to her.

If you're already the most responsive, intuitive, orgasm giver on the planet and you're sure your woman is completely satisfied, yet she still won't consider trying out your new ideas, you may be asking her to take too big a first step.  Perhaps dressing up in a bunny suit and giving you a hand job in front a police station is too much to ask for a first-timer.  Ditto for tying you up and violating you with headless barbies.  Baby steps, ya know?  Why don't you start with just a little "freaky" and see how it works out.  For now, leave the rubber suit and eggplants in the closet.  Bring out the paddles and nipple clamps instead.

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