Thursday, March 1, 2012

Parry...with No Thrust?

Dear Eve,

I want a girl that I've hooked up with a couple of times to be more than just sex.  I'm calling more regularly and trying to set up dates but she's not taking the bait.  Since I've been pursuing her more she's practically shut down on me, not returning calls and not keeping any dates.

What did I do wrong?

Dear Chasing the Dream,

If you switch places with this gal, how would you feel?  Say there's a girl you've hooked up with and suddenly she's calling regularly, trying to go on dates with you and you really don't want to take it to the next level.  You don't want to hurt her feelings because she's a nice girl but you don't want to date her either.  So you just stop taking her calls and texts like a coward.  If you change your mind (how likely will that be?) you can contact her, but you know it's over because she ruined the casual sex with her pesky feelings.

I think that's how it went down.  So maybe you're the kind of guy that's not used to being rejected so you have a need to know where you went wrong.  I don't think you made any critical errors.  You took a risk and it didn't pay off;  she was just never gonna jump on your train.  Or, perhaps, for you, this is the same caca, different day: you're a serial girl chaser and not a successful one.  Unless you're ready to change, you're screwed.  You, my friend, need to slow your roll and let the girl take the lead from now on.  Put yourself out there as being available, then let the girl pursue you.  Nobody wants to date a half-assed stalker.  Full-on stalker, maybe, if she's bat-shit crazy.

Then again, maybe she's her own romantic comedy and is playing coy and failing, or sabotages all relationships with good guys, or maybe she's a commitment-phobe.  You're a lucky guy if it's true.  All you have to do is wait for it to rain, go to the airport, then have a glitch in your ticket, giving her just enough time to show up and say "I'm stupid, aren't I?"  and then the Muzak swells and you kiss like 2 middle school kids gnawing on a chicken bone.  How romantic. I would've thrown up in my mouth a little if I didn't already know that the truth is you've scared her off and you were only a nameless, faceless piece of ass in the first place.  Truth hurts, bro.

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