Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Risky Business at the Office

Dear Eve,

I had sexy times with a guy I work with.  Once and at the office.  Now he is being weird and avoiding me. I've not done anything weird.  Just acted like I normally do.  What do you think his problem is?  Oh I do want to do dirty things with him again, but I'm not gonna throw that out there until he starts acting normal.  And I want to thank him too.  I hate my job and now I have one great memory from there and that means a lot.  What do you think?

Dear Dirty,

Congratulations and more power to you.  As long as you're both consenting adults and not in monogamous relationships I'm happy for you.  You've gotten yourself in a pickle, though, and your buddy is having a typical reaction to the situation.  When you mix up sexual/romantic relationships and work it can be a huge risk to take, especially if you like or need your job.  Perhaps he's most worried about job security and trying to avoid engaging with you if underneath your lovely exterior you're crazier than my mom off her meds.  He's not sure that you won't make his life hell, cause a scene, or run your mouth about your tryst.

I hate to say this, but a private e-mail, and by private I mean not on the office network or time, might be the way to go.  Be very forthright about your feelings and assure him that you are not going to kirk out at work, or any other time.  Make sure he knows that you are not expecting for this to happen again, but you wouldn't mind if it did.  After you choose your words carefully and know that you are writing exactly how you feel, you can tack on the end of it that you just might want to do things to him that will make him praise bob for the day he was born.  Make it light-hearted.  Thank him for a great night and for helping you have at least one great memory of the hell-hole you work in. If you can work in that you think he has a big penis that might seal the deal.

Then again, maybe he's crazier than a hot-footed rooster and he's avoiding you because he has no idea idea what to do with you now.  Should he start at the beginning, collecting your stray hairs and toenails, then slowly ramp it up until the kidnapping phase, or does this sex glitch erase the normal process and can he abduct you right away?  When will he send you creepy cut out letter notes now?  Can he really let go and not steal your underwear?  He's so confused I feel sorry for him!

Good luck and here's to hoping you don't wind up in the trunk of his car.  ::gives you the thumbs up::


  1. I want to know how this plays out! 

  2.  I'd like to know as well.  Writer:  fill us in on the details, unless you're in the trunk already, of course. :( If that's the case, I'll give you an encouraging ((squeeze)) from afar.