Friday, April 6, 2012

Flash Friday

When should tell her I love her?
Wait a little while. She won't be ready to hear you until whats-his-name gets his penis out of her ear.

Do I drink too much?
Water? No way! You're a little dehydrated from all the booze you over-indulge in.

Why does my laundry always smell gross even when I wash it?
You're probably letting it sit too long in the washer before you dry it or you're putting it away damp. Don't do that.

How do I have a one-night-stand and not feel guilty?
Throw away your self-respect and pretend that your heart is dead.

Why am I always the last one picked when we choose teams?
You are far superior to the cretins around you and you intimidate them with your alien-sized super-brain.

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