Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Got Your Politics Right Here


::Rubs hands together and looks maniacal::

It's election time, bitches!  Nothing raises my blood pressure more than the shenanigans that surround the election process in the USA.  I'm not sure what it's like in other countries, but as I get older the citizenry gets more divided, the hate more vitriolic, and there seems to be almost no tolerance of opposing views.  I could call for more understanding; for "can't we all just get along"'s but that shit ain't happening because I am just as bad as the people I rail against.  Ask me if I'm losing sleep over my own divisive zealotry.  The answer would be "No way, Jose."   There is no shaking hands with people that believe that I'm immoral and brain-washed, especially when they're immobile in their belief.  Presenting them with facts, both personal and political, means nothing.  It has been decided:  I am everything that is wrong with this country.

You tell me:  How can I possibly get along with someone that believes that if you oppose their view you are anti-American?  Or that their religious views should be made law and that their life-style choice is the only acceptable one and that it should be legislated?  How can I take seriously people that reject the same science that brings them their life-changing medical miracles but then decide that the same scientific process is not accurate when they disagree with the outcome?  And how can I have a conversation with someone that readily believes garbage and blatantly illogical, absurd "facts" because a very biased news source says, ad nauseum, that it's so?

I am so not tolerant, so unable to meet these people "in the middle" because, face it people, there is no stinking middle!  The closest thing to the middle is the bottomless abyss that separates the two most popular political parties that we've been blessed with so far;  an abyss that grows wider as the election cycle moves to its close.

I am beginning to seek out news stories to make myself more furious, specifically ones that give me a sense of self-righteous indignation equal only to Snookie's denial that she gave Mike "The Situation" a blow-job on "The Jersey Shore."  I need to give myself some advice before I have another aneurysm.  Here it goes:

Dear Me,

Stop embarrassing yourself by entering into a national debate that, in the end, is pointless because it's not a debate at all.  It is a useless shouting match not unlike that one that you had with your son this morning when he was determined to wear holey socks to school and you, for reasons unknown, were convinced the world would end if this happened, so you had an embarrassing temper tantrum that ended up with you in the floor, random socks in hand, dazed and confused as said holey socks sailed over you and bounded happily out the door.  It's insane to invest energy into an argument you will not win and shouldn't have had in the first place.

Give up politics for lent.  Everyone around you will love you for it and maybe you can take that extra time and work on the fact that you're a godless heathen that is weakening this country and making it possible for the devil to continue to sit in the White House proving that we are in the End Times.  And pick up after the the four damn horses that are in the yard.  ::shakes stick at the horses::  GET OFFA MA LAWN!

ps This does not pertain to anyone that has normal political interests.  Only the crazies like me.

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