Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Sound of One Hipster Clapping

Dear Eve,

I have a friend who gets really snarky and mean in arguments and it's only gotten worse since he's been hanging around very angry hipsters. Anyone who points out he is unnecessarily harsh gets accused of derailing the argument because they have a poor position to defend. I want him to stop, but there’s nothing I can really do about it because if I bring it up, I’m accused of doing the same thing. Because I know him so well, I feel responsible to let him know this is a problem before he burns some bridges with the friends he has left, since he's now starting to really bring his attitude all the time. The funny thing is that he can be really fun to be around. That's why we became friends.

I've already started to distance myself from him. I don't see him that often and when I do, if he starts to argue I leave. Is there really anything I can do about this, other than let it go myself?



Dear Nice Girl,

You're over-thinking this. Fact: he's an asshole. It doesn't really matter that he used to be fun. His wanker ways have superseded his good qualities because he has no problem 1) trying to make other people look like idiots, and 2) he's unwilling to take a step back and re-evaluate his attitude when someone who's been a very good friend to him gives him the come-to-bob talk.

Why don't you get pissed at him for taking up your heart-space with worry? Actually, get a little pissed at yourself for getting caught up in his fuckery and giving him more time then he deserves. You've done your due diligence as a friend and you've done the right thing for both of you by putting distance between you. The important thing now is to not feel one iota of guilt about your defection. It never pays to care for someone who would openly mock you if given the chance.

If you're feeling extra spicy, you could be honest with him, perhaps on paper so he can't interrupt, and then be brutally honest. Tell him how his words alienate people and that you're not going to sit by and watch him implode because of his jackassery. Explain your frustration and be done with it. It's going to feel really good to strip away any residual feelings of responsibility.

And the bonus? You no longer have to pretend to appreciate the smelly-in-an-ironic-way moustachioed absurdist affectation that glues a hipster together. You can openly mock them like all good Americans should. It's in the Constitution under the No Bullshit Clause.

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